A lesson in grace

So, I have been reading a great book over the past year. Yes, I said YEAR. It is one of those books that you read, reread, then reference back to, it's that good. It isn't an easy read but definetly a worthy read. The book is called Give them Grace.  It is one thing to read about giving your kids grace and agreeing with the biblical teachings, but totally different to actually put it into practice. 

Yesterday, we had piano lessons. An hour before we left for our lesson, I reminded my daughter to get her books ready. Once we got in the car to leave, I asked her again if she had her books. She insisted
that she had her books. Of course you know how the story ends, we get to piano and my daughter had left the books by the door. It's kinda hard to do a piano lesson with no books. I must admit, on the inside I
was fuming. Thankfully, the student before us let her borrow her books. Our piano teacher shared a story of how when she was little and forgot her books, her father took away her allowance to pay for that
lesson. This sparked what I thought was an adequate punishment, after all- it WAS chore day. So, we agreed, my daughter would joyfully do the chores this week with no allowance as her punishment for being irresponsible. Seems fair and extending grace, right?

Well, the short answer is...No, not exactly

The next day, we got ready for school. It was an unusual morning. We were ready ahead of schedule. We took advantage of this 'extra' time and double checked the backpack to make sure we had everything. Then, we were off! It felt good to get there before the doors swung open. As my daughter got out of the car, I realized I had not put my daughters backpack back into the car. She had done her part and rolled in out to our car, but I forgot to load it!

Now, what about that responsibility thing?

Talk about getting my attention!

God spoke to my heart loud and clear,

Give Them Grace!

grace- Pronunciation: grās- The exercise of love, kindness, mercy, favor; disposition to benefit or serve another; favor bestowed or privilege conferred.

Was this the reaction I had with my daughter?

Did I seek to extend love, kindness, and unmerited favor?

Are you filled with grace as you discipline your child?

Rejoice freely in His steadfast love

 and share that happiness with all those around you,

ESPECIALLY your kids!

Expect the Unexpected

Have you ever planned something special for someone? You become filled with excitement and anticipation. You start to imagine their reactions and envision every detail of the day. On top of the special something, add the 'surprise' element to the mix. The element of surprise is exciting in itself!



I am not just talking about BIG surprise birthday parties but also the simple things, as in a candlelight dinner waiting for your spouse upon arrival home from work, or the surprise weekend getaway, or even the surprise visit to the office to bring a treat.


Then...the day comes for the unveiling of your surprise. More often than not, the idea that you have conjured up in your head is not the actual sequence of events. Let's just play out a few 'hypothetical' situations-


1. Scene: You have surprised your spouse with a candlelight dinner.


a) Envisioned response: A delightful smile, an uplifting swinging hug, romantic music playing in the background, beautiful conversation during the incredibly delicious meal, followed by a gorgeous sunset.


b) Actual response: Spouse comes home with a migraine headache and nausea, is in no mood for the candlelight dinner, barely acknowledges you as he/she walks in the house, you burn the dinner, the kids are screaming, and you end up eating leftovers for dinner while your spouse sleeps off the headache.


2. Scene: You plan a surprise trip for you and your spouse to get away for the weekend.


a) Envisioned response: You and your spouse grab the bags as quickly as possible and head to the airport filled with excited conversation about the upcoming possibilities of the weekend. Your spouse can't stop thanking you for your effort and planning!


b) Actual response: Your spouse can not be out of town, has too much work to finish, and has an overlapping meeting with the trip. A quick phone call is made and the trip is cancelled. You are left unpacking the suitcases and cancelling the babysitting.


3. Scene: You surprise your spouse with a visit to the office with a special treat.


a) Envisioned response: You have perfect timing, your spouse is at the desk with a gap in the schedule, excited to see you and the kids, loves the treat and the cards the kids spent all day making. You and your family have a great visit!


b) Actual response: Your visit is in the middle of a meeting. Your child knocks over your spouse's drink into their lap. You leave abruptly.

In these type of situations and really any situation that does not go as you expect it to go, what is your response? Most of these situations might cause you to feel deflated, disappointed, dismayed, and disheartened. All these feelings would be a normal 'flesh' response.

However, what if you begin to change your mind set. Instead of seeing the absence of God and the presence of sin, you turn your attention to the presence of God, to see God at work at ALL times. God is at work whether or not you feel Him working. What if your response was an evidence of grace. Grace by definition is any observable attitude or action brought about by the presence of and empowered by the Holy Spirit dwelling in a believer. God, the Holy Spirit, is at work in all Christians at all times!

What if we adjusted our response to reflect grace in the unexpected, to rejoice, to lift one another up in our words and actions, to truly shine the light of Jesus.

Let's replay the situations:


1. Scene: You have surprised your spouse with a candlelight dinner.


a) Envisioned response: A delightful smile, an uplifting swinging hug, romantic music playing in the background, beautiful conversation during the incredibly delicious meal, followed by a gorgeous sunset.


b) Actual response: Spouse comes home with a migraine headache and nausea, is in no mood for the candlelight dinner, barely acknowledges you as he/she walks in the house, you burn the dinner, the kids are screaming, and you end up eating leftovers for dinner while your spouse sleeps off the headache.


c) Evidence of Grace: As your spouse comes home with a migraine and nausea, you realize he is in no mood for a candlelight dinner. The kids are screaming, so you take them outside to play so your husband can rest. While you are outside playing, the dinner burns which gives you a great excuse to have a picnic of leftovers with the kids outside while your spouse sleeps off the headache.


2. Scene: You plan a surprise trip for you and your spouse to get away for the weekend.


a) Envisioned response: You and your spouse grab the bags as quickly as possible and head to the airport filled with excited conversation about the upcoming possibilities of the weekend. Your spouse can't stop thanking you for your effort and planning!


b) Actual response: Your spouse can not be out of town, has too much work to finish, and has an overlapping meeting with the trip. A quick phone call is made and the trip is cancelled. You are left unpacking the suitcases and cancelling the babysitting.


c) Evidence of Grace: Your spouse can not be out of town, has too much work to finish and has an overlapping meeting with the trip. A quick phone call is made to a dear friend that you have not been able to spend time with and could not afford to take a trip otherwise. Your childcare is already arranged, so your spouse is able to get work done and you are able to have some much needed relaxation quality time with your friend.


3. Scene: You surprise your spouse with a visit to the office with a special treat.


a) Envisioned response: You have perfect timing, your spouse is at the desk with a gap in the schedule, excited to see you and the kids, loves the treat and the cards the kids spent all day making. You and your family have a great visit!


b) Actual response: Your visit is in the middle of a meeting. Your child knocks over your spouse's drink into their lap. You leave abruptly


c) Evidence of Grace: Your visit is in the middle of a meeting. Your child knocks over your spouse's drink into their lap. You smile and laugh- sometimes you just have to roll with the punches.

God orchestrates great plans,

not necessarily the way you want it

but EXACTLY the way He envisions it.

Step back and see His glory in it all.



Gifts

Have you ever picked out the perfect gift, maybe for a Christmas or a special holiday?  You are filled with anticipation and joy.  Or better yet, have you ever been surprised with an unexpected and undeserved gift?
Motherhood is one of the most anticipated, joyous and undeserved gifts that we can ever receive!

Think back, some more than others, to the anticipation of your child's birth. This time in your life was filled with preparation for a new beginning, a time of planning, and studying new parent books.  Then the big day arrived when you held your child in your arms for the first time.  From that day forward, there was a new love in your heart that you didn't even imagine, a love that you never knew was possible before.
As each day passes as a mother, I have found my role is ever changing.  My relationship with my children is refined every day. I have days of great joy and great challenges.  Through both, I am able to see great growth in not only my children but also in myself.

Motherhood is such a difficult role to put into words. 

I believe Motherhood is God's greatest example of grace.  By definition, grace means unmerited favor, kindness which bestows upon one what she has not deserved.  I don't know about you but the gift of my children is among the most undeserved gifts I have ever received! 
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him.
Psalm 127:3

I did nothing to earn the right to raise two precious lives, yet it was granted to me!  The gift of my children is among the greatest of gifts of loving kindness. 
It is a true reflection of God's love for us-
Refining  For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver Psalm 66:10
 
Filled with joy despite challenge  glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope....God’s love has been poured out into our hearts Romans 5:3-5
 
Building growth in us through it all  Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:14-15
 
Thank you Lord for the gift of my children, for loving me enough to refine me, fill me with joy, and build me up in your great name!